One month and love is redefined

Russell is a month old today. If you thought that I was sentimental and sappy before (you were right) you should see me now. I am an eternal bundle of sappy nerves, sad that he's a month old because I know that the past month will never be again, but so excited to see what this month will bring! Please bear with my sappiness.

However I defined love before Russell was born now seems so off. All types of love have entirely different meaning to me all of a sudden. My parents mean so much to me. They have always meant the world to me, but now I am part of their club. Now, I have had a tiny glimpse of what they have gone through. The joy and amazement, fear, humbleness, protectiveness, and sheer awe that come with this new role of being someones "parent." I know that I am only beginning this journey, but the love that comes from a parent has taken on an incredible new definition. The way I feel about Andrew has vastly changed as well. We have this new common ground. Until October 2nd, the best day of my life had been marrying him two and a half years ago. We have shared so many great days together and my love for him has grown each and every one of them. But, now suddenly we haven't just grown in number, we have this whole new kind of love for each other. Andrew is the only other living soul who can look at Russell with the same eyes no matter how differently we look at each other or the world. He will be the only other person who understands how I feel as Russell grows. Our relationship has been redefined. God's love has also been redefined to me. I believed in Him before, I really did. But, now I have this tangible piece of evidence. God made Russell and I was the next living thing to come in contact with him. That just blows my mind. Believe what you will about where we come from or who we come from, but having a baby is a miracle that cannot be defined to me as anything but a gift. An incredible gift of love who's a month old.

And now we are three...

We woke up Tuesday morning (Sept. 30th) and went to work just as usual thinking that we would be welcoming our son to the world in a month or so. Mom and our dear friend Jane were coming to visit for the night and accompanied me to my weekly afternoon doctor's visit. The doctor's visit revealed that all of a sudden my blood pressure had gone sky high which resulted in multiple other tests over the course of the evening and next morning. The possibility of "Eclampsia" loomed over us. The next day we all went to the hospital where I eventually would have an ultra sound. The eternal optimist that I am, I still didn't expect our son's arrival for a few weeks and hadn't realized the possibility that at any moment this could all become very overwhelming and scary. Sure enough my heart sank as the ultra sound was being done. I knew by looking at the screen, because of previous concern, that there wasn't much amniotic fluid around our baby. This concluded that I did indeed have Eclampsia and now would be admitted to the hospital with in the next hour and a half. Not knowing weather to be scared or excited we rushed home to pack up a few things and return. Poor Andrew had to have been overwhelmed himself, but he had to take care of me on top of it. I was afraid for our baby's safety and terrified of not knowing what to expect over the next few days. Thankfully, Mom and Jane were with us to help us prepare and to help Andrew calm me down. The whole time I was wondering weather it is easier to go into labor at home and rush to the hospital, or be rushed to the hospital to go into labor? The jury is still out... They induced me at 4:30pm. Contractions started at 9pm and our little Russell man was born at 5:11pm the next day. All of a sudden all of the craziness of the past couple of days just didn't matter. God blessed us with a perfect little boy. He weighed 5lbs 6ozs. and was 19 inches long. Such a tiny little guy, but already had bright sparkling eyes. Amazingly he has all of his tiny little fingernails and other parts and everything is just right. We couldn't be more proud. There just aren't words that can begin to describe the happiness that he has brought to us. Now we are three...